Sir Dominic: John Wick

John Wick

 

Dominic hated this movie for obvious reasons.  **Spoiler Alert** They kill Keanu's dog.
Mattie decided to join in on the fun on this one.  She represents all the people that Keanu's (Dominic's) character kills.   And our sweet Pooh Smooch makes an appearance as the dead wife.  May the wife and the Pooh Smooch, rest in peace.

Sir Dominic: Noah

The blog has been on a small hiatus but we are back.  And then we got taken over.  I have a special guest that will be on the blog doing some movie reviews.  Our special guest is......



Sir Dominic!!

In honor of the upcoming Oscars, Dominic has decided to re-enact some of his favorite movies and he is doing it on the blog.  So here goes!!

Noah

 

 

Dominic decided to start with this movie because it represents saving the animals.  And that is something that Dominic can get on board with.

The Stones Have Gotta Go

Medical problems in special areas seem to run through my household.  This time it affected my poor baby boy.  He is eight.  He is a dog.  His name is Dominic.  You might remember his sweet face from blogs such as Tricknee, The Walking Dead Took Over My Life and just about every other blog I have written.  He is a little bit of a ham.  He loves dressing up and loves to have his picture taken.  That works out really well since I love dressing him up and taking his pictures.  But he will not be dressed up in this blog.  I think he has been tortured enough.

Dominic

It all started when we adopted him.  He was peeing blood.  The vet said it was a UTI.  We gave him an antibiotic and it went away.  This happened four or five times over the course of two years.  Our vet did an x-ray because this is not normal.  My poor baby boy had stones in his bladder.  (Let me note here that I don't know how parents do it.  I was freaking out and my baby was just a dog.)  The vet said he would need surgery.  SURGERY!  How did my poor baby go from a UTI to having surgery?  I think the worse part is that he didn't even know what was about to happen to him.  No idea and I couldn't communicate that with him.

The morning of the surgery, I got up early to take him to the vet.  He was excited to take a car ride.  I brought his blanket along with him and he curled up in it on the front seat.  It was early (8:00 am.  That is early when you are unemployed.) and he wanted to sleep on our trip.  I turned the heated seat on for him.  He napped the whole way to the vet.  When we got to the vet, he suddenly realized where he was.  All four brakes were applied and he wouldn't move.  Luckily, he only weighs about 13 pounds so I just picked him up and carried him inside.  Once we got inside, one of the vet technicians came to greet us.  Dominic was so excited to have someone else to pet him.  He ran to her and she took him away.  Glad to see I am the only one who is sad about what is going on.  He seemed so happy.  What a fool.

Later that afternoon, I went back to the vet to get him.  His surgery went really well.  They said that they scooped out all his stones.  One stone was on the way to the urethra and one was actually lodged in the urethra.  The vet explained to me that Italian Greyhounds (that's the breed we have) have bones in their penises (giggle, giggle he said penis.  I am twelve.) called an os penis.  I actually Googled "Italian greyhound penis bone" to confirm that I had the right name for it.  Did you  know that if you Google "penis" it brings back results with the word "dick" in it.  How would you like to be the person at Google who has to add all the AKA words in for words like penis.  (Giggle, giggle!)

But I digress.  The moral of the story is that not only did the cut into his bladder but they had to slice his urethra to get the stone out.  They stitched his urethra back together and then glued him closed everywhere else.  The vet said that I would have to watch all the incisions for obvious reasons like making sure there was no infection.  But he also told me to watch and make sure that the pee was coming out of the right place.  He said it was possible that if everything wasn't "glued" properly that pee could ooze out of his urethra (not at the end) and then out of his incision.  Umm, gross.  Love is watching your dog pee, every time for days to make sure he isn't peeing out of the wrong places.

When I got him back from the vet, he looked pretty sad.  I cuddled him, kissed him, then threw him in the back of the car and drove him home.  He spent the next three days sleeping and looking pathetic.  Today is day three after the surgery.  He is slowly getting back to his old, ornery ways.  He is still sleeping a lot and looking pretty sad but he is moving around well.  In a couple more days, he will be back to normal.

Stop reading here if you are sensitive or easily grossed out.  TRUST ME.  You don't want to see the pictures below.

But as far as Dominic is concerned, he spent a lot of time doing the below and getting yelled at.

Do I really need to put a caption on this?

 

The next thing he knows, he is coming home from the vet looking like this.

Yes, that is major bruising in what was his manhood area. 
Trust me, this breaks my heart too.

 I think without any doubt, he has learned his lesson about licking his private area.  I don't think he will be doing that for a while.  Mostly because it is so bruised.

Please don't call dog services.  We didn't schedule the surgery because he licks his manhood like its his job.  Surgery was not punishment. Surgery was to heal his bladder stones.

Today I found love...

Let me be clear, this is not a romantic post.  Bells did not ring and fireworks did not go off.  As I get older, I realize that love is not romance and flowers.  There is more to it than that.  But I am getting ahead of myself.  Let me start this story at the beginning.  7:00 am this morning to be exact.

My alarm goes off at 7:00 this morning.  My first task of the day is to let the four dogs outside.  Four, are you insane?  Who has four dogs?  Not us.  We have three.  The fourth is a stow away.  We are babysitting our friends' dog while they are on vacation.  Let me add that we have three of the laziest dogs ever.  And I do mean EVER. They are so lazy in fact, that I can put them in any position with any props and take pictures all night.  Did you see my posts on Tricknee and Walking Dead.  I mean seriously, see what I mean?  So lazy.  The dog we are babysitting is the exact opposite.  He is much younger than our dogs.  He is around 2 and there is plenty of puppy left in him.  Also, I should mention that our dogs weigh about 30 pounds and that is all of them together.  Nobennyno, that is what we call him, weighs about 100 pounds more than that.  He is massive (compared to our dogs.)

Back to this morning, 7:00... alarm... dogs... continuing on.  So I get up to let my herd out.  And I am hit my a powerful smell.  The kind of smell you don't soon forget.  I let all four dogs out and go in search of the present they left me.  I thought for sure the culprit was Nobennyno.  His gifts are usually quite large and unpleasant to clean up.  But what present of this nature wouldn't be unpleasant to clean up?  Nope, Nobennyno is innocent for once in his life.  The guilty party was one of my sweet, innocent babies.  Well maybe sweet and innocent goes a little to far.  The moral of the story is that one of my three dogs, which I might add all sleep in the same crate and night, has had explosive diarrhea.  Imagine, if you will, what it might be like to put three dogs in a box, have one of their colons explode and then leave them in said box for hours.  That image is what I discovered.  My poor baby girl had poop on her face, her head, her back, her body, her stomach, her feet.  So basically everywhere.

At this point I have to wake The Smooch.  I go to the bedroom.  "Smooch?" I say gently.  "Code Red!"  The Smooch springs out of bed (I have never seen this happen before) and is ready to deal with whatever happens next.  I feel the first stirring deep down inside and I think I might be smitten.  He grabs all three dogs and ushers them into the bathroom and immediantly starts bathing them all.  I start to think maybe I like him a lot.  He bathes each dog in turn and I dry each one off.  While he finishes bathing and drying the dogs, I tackle the crate.

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After the crate is cleaned, I realize that I am an hour late for work and still need to get ready.  I start rushing towards the bathroom when The Smooch stops me.  He looks deep into my eyes and says "Baby, why don't I go pick up McDonald's breakfast for you while you are getting ready."  That's it.  Call my mother, I am in love.  The Smooch knew that I needed a little something to make my day better.  That's when I found love, in the bottom of a McDonald's bag. 

It amazes me how my definition of love has changed.  It used to be special presents, dinners out, or telling me that I look nice. Now it is cleaning up dog shit and buying me McDonalds.  I am not going to lie.  I don't know if this makes me feel older, wiser and happier or sad and pathetic.  What do you think?  What does love mean to you?  I want to hear your stories too!!

Crap I Did This Year - 2013

Like all great ideas, this one is also stolen.  I read, off and on, a number of blogs.  I stumbled across ComfyTown Chronicles: TToT Don't Call It A YIR which then led me to Considering: Not Ten, but TWELVE Things of Thankful.  I liked their versions of the year in review a lot and decided to try it out.

So here is my Year in Review also known as Twelve Thing of Thankful which I have renamed as Crap I Did This Year.  I haven't been blogging a year yet.  Well, I started in 2011 then stopped and restarted in October 2013.  But here is a list of a few other things I did that maybe even you didn't know about.  I apologize that it seems a little late.  But better late than never.

January

In January I left my old job in commercial real estate to start a new adventure in affordable housing.  Everyday since has been an adventure.  Working for a non-profit is different than anything I have ever done before.  There are all the goods and bads of any other job but there is this additional layer where at the end of each day, we did good for someone else.  We put people in homes.

February

An outing with a friend takes us to an improv show.  I have taken improv classes in the past but this show changes my fate with improv.  After this show, I take an additional class.  That class leads me to an improv troupe and performances in front of actual people.  People who paid money to see me perform.  Pretty cool.

The Smooch and I have an Oscar Party.  We went all out.  We decorated the house and had swag bags for all of our guests.  We even dressed the dogs up.

Yes, I made an evening gown for our cement goose.
Yes, we have a cement goose, but it is The Smooch's and not mine. 
No way I would own that awful thing.

Best Dressed goes to....

March

I have been very luck up until this point but in March I lost a good friend.  This was the first funeral that I have gone to that was for a friend.  Not an old relative, not the grandmother of a friend, but my friend.  Someone that was brought to me randomly by fate.  I should maybe add here that she was 90 when she died.  But it still hurt me in my heart.  I met her when I worked in a nursing home right after college almost 10 years ago.  We became fast friends and spent many years playing Scrabble.  I miss her dearly.

April

The Smooch and I went to see Elton John in concert.  It was my second Elton John concert and The Smooch's 18th.  I don't think it was our last concert.

I discovered roller derby and attended my first bout.  The Smooch and I attended a bout of the Ohio Roller Girls.  I hate sports.  I have a short attention span and get distracted by cheerleaders, bands and time outs.  But I could not take my eyes of this sport.  I am in love.  I later attend a couple Wanna Be clinics where you get to practice your roller derby skills.  Being a novice, we learned things like how to fall and stop.  Why do I would need to learn to fall.  I know how to do that.  You read Tricknee right?  I fall down just fine.  But I needed to learn to fall without hurting myself.  The Smooch and I also have season tickets to the 2014 season and I can't wait for it to kick off in March!  Boom!!

I stopped pinning stuff on Pinterest and actually made something that I pinned.  Pretty awesome right?

May

As I stated in January, I was reintroduced to the wonderful world of improv.  In May, I had my first performance.  It was quite an experience.  The crowd was not huge, but full for the venue.  I was so nervous I could have died.  But I am glad that I did it.  I conquered a fear and love performing.  I actually have a show on Friday!

My Office Plant Died.  This was very traumatic for me.  The plant was thriving and doing well.  Then after an extended period away from work it died.  It was determined it died of lack of light as my office has no windows.  Afterwards, the office plant doctor took all the rest of my plants out of my custody and determined me an unfit mother.  She nursed them all back to health, except the one pictured below and gave them back to me.  Now I have to get a babysitter for my plants anytime I am out of the office for more than 3 days.

June

My parents and in-laws engage in a war for my love during my birthday.  In a surprise turn of events, my parents sent me a birthday card.  This may be the second or third card I have received from my mother EVER.  The card held one slightly wrinkled $1 bill.  This may be the largest and most expensive birthday gift I have received from my parents in years.

Not to be outdone, my In-Laws "upped the ante."  Not only did they send a card, they sent a wrinkled $5 bill.  I am hoping this tradition continues until I am getting $100 each birthday.

I spent all that money on lottery tickets and won NOTHING!!  Lesson learned: people can't buy my love, it just doesn't pay.

July

July was the month I became famous, for about 15 minutes.  While eating out at a local hot dog restaurant, me and my coworker we approached by a news reporter.  They were doing an article on hot dog eating for July 4th.  I was interviewed and then I was video tapped eating a hot dog.  Now when you Google my name, this article comes up in the top 10.  So it is my Facebook page, my LinkedIn page and then a video of me eating a hot dog.  Can't wait until I look for my next job and future employers find that little gem.

August

August is the month that I decide to start blogging again. This led me on an adventure.  I know realize that I know nothing about nor do I understand SEO, PageRanks, analytics etc.  I had no idea there was so much more to blogging.  As I stated in my post My Blogging Goals for 2014 are......, I am going to try to ignore all of that stuff and just blog about whatever moves me.  I am not trying to get a book deal or get the most pins on my recipe on pinterest.  I just want to ramble aimlessly.

August is also the month that I discovered the best pants in the world.  I totally love these pants and will wear nothing but them.  Check them out at Button Free, Zipper Free, Care Free.  Yes, I wear elastic waist band pants.  Don't judge me until your fat ass has been in these pants and you were like, oh yeah.

September

September marked the two year anniversary of The Smooch and myself.  It often times feels like it has been much longer.  This is also the month wear rumors really started flying that I may have killed him.  I did not kill him, he had only been kidnapped by his mother.  If I had killed him, no one would ever know.  Read more here...  The Smooch has left the building...

I also got to meet Alex Newell who plays Unique on Glee.  This was one of two nights this year that I was up past midnight.  The other being New Year's Eve.  I am always amazed by the confidence of drag queens.  That was a drag....

October

October was a month that brought even more improve into my life.  Columbus had it's annual improve festival and I did nothing but watch, practice, workshop and perform improv.  It was a crazy weekend.  I guess that's all I really did in October.  Slow month.

November

The Smooch and I hosted a Halloween party and in our usually fashion, it was late.  We had it the first weekend in November.  It is partly Halloween's fault since it was on a Thursday.  We had a great time at the party.  I dressed up as a Wrecking Ball and The Smooch dressed up as Miley Cyrus.  He was wearing clothes but not very many and it was an interesting sight.  There are no pictures because every picture taken immediately broke the camera.  This party gave me a Flashback to college and I realized I am getting old and may now need to be on a no drink limit.

December

In December, The Smooch and I went to New York to visit my In-Laws.  Trips at the In-Laws are always interesting.  Each time The Smooch and I visit New York we always try to spend at least on day in the city, New York City.  This visit we took a look at the 9-11 Memorial.  It was a very somber place.  The first time I had ever been to New York was many years after 9-11 happened so I never saw the towers in all their glory.  And it is really weird to stand in a place where these two towers used to be.  It's hard to imagine what that space must have been like with the towers.  We also walked down to Battery Park and I got to see the Statue of Liberty.  I had never been to NYC before I met The Smooch and I love that we try to see one part of the city each time we are in New York.  It is really fun to see all these sights with The Smooch.

 

The Walking Dead Took Over My Life

So you may or may not have noticed that I have been absent for a while.  I have a good excuse... well maybe not a good excuse, maybe just an excuse.  I started watching The Walking Dead on AMC.  My sister introduced the show to me when I was visiting her and I was immediately hooked.  The Smooch and I had to start watching it.  The show had just started it's fourth season, so we had some catching up to do.  The Smooch and I spent three solid weeks but we watched all three previous seasons and got caught up on season 4.  It took many types of media to get there.  We borrowed seasons 1 and 2 from the library.  We signed up for a one month free trial from Netflix just so we could get season 3.  Then we had to download and pay for the remaining episodes of Season 4.  But we are now caught up.    We stayed up late trying to get in one last episode.    We spent an entire Saturday dedicated to nothing but The Walking Dead.  We didn't leave the couch, we didn't shower, we didn't move.  We had pizza delivered directly to our couch so we wouldn't miss a minute. 

I want to save you all that pain and suffering so I am going to give you the cliff notes version of what happened in the four seasons of The Walking Dead.  **Spoiler Alert**  You may want to skip this blog if you are really interested in watching The Walking Dead, which I totally recommend.  Just kidding, I don't think I give away too much but if you are worried about it, just look at the pretty pictures.

Weird Shepherd's Pie

Last night I did something for The Smooch that I haven’t done in a while.  Eww..  No not that.   You have such a dirty mind.  What I actually did was cook.  Shocking I know.  But let's be clear, this is not a cooking website and I am not giving cooking advice.  You would be a fool to follow any advice I have on cooking.

Cooking at my house is never as easy as it sounds.  Our kitchen is tiny and I always have an audience.  I have been trying to teach the dogs to stay out of the kitchen.  I just about have the one below trained.  He does however hover in the door frame.  But he knows better than to cross that line.

Please sir can I have some more?

The cooking motivation started when I met with my blogger friend from Honesty's Protégée to discuss all things blogging.  She has an awesome blog full of recipes and DIY projects.  I picked out a recipe for Biscuit Lasagna to make but when I tried to explain it to The Smooch, he was disgusted.  Something about his family being Italian and lasagna being sacred and if it doesn’t have noodles then you can’t call it lasagna… or something along that line.  The argument that ensued ended with me saying “Fine, then it’s called Weird Shepherd’s Pie, can you eat that?” and he agreed he could eat it and maybe even enjoy it as long as lasagna wasn’t in the title.  Deal!

Green Peppers

The Smooch tends to hate my cooking.  I know, what an awful man he is.  But he has a good reason for hating my cooking.  I can't cook.  Or maybe a more accurate portrayal  is that I don't know how to follow a recipe.  Ok, that's not quite it either.  The truth is that I simply don't follow the recipe.  I tend to think of them more as guidelines.  If I don't have all the ingredients, that's okay, I'll just leave them out or I may try to substitute with something that I do have in the house.  Tomato sauce and ketchup??  Basically the same thing right?  And if I have 3/4 of a cup and the recipe calls for 1 cup then 3/4 will do.  And the opposite is also true.  It if calls for 3/4 of a cup and I have 1 cup, I add it all.  I am not putting 1/4 of a cup of something back in my fridge.  Instead of throwing it away, into the pot it goes.  And because of these tiny, insignificant changes, my husband thinks everything I cook is awful.  Hogwash I say.  It takes like Hogwash, he says.

So I made some minor changes, sue me.  It turned out pretty good.  Except that the biscuits only cooked on the top side and they were raw on the bottom.  But that could have totally be our oven.  Right?  Otherwise, It was pretty good.  And eating a raw biscuit won't kill you.

Yum??

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Tricknee

You know how people need alcohol to feel brave to do idiotic things?  I am unfortunately not one of those people.  I tend to do stupid things completely sober.  So to explain to you exactly what happened to me last night (or what stupid thing I did to myself) I must explain a couple things to you first. 

•  I am pro-alcohol and do imbibe on occasion.  The problem is that alcohol is not pro-me.  We used to have a pretty good love-hate relationship.  Now, it is becoming more hate-hate.  As I get older, it takes the same amount of alcohol to feel drunk but significantly less to feel hung-over.  I now become hung-over after only two water-downed drinks.  My husband thinks I am a mean drunk so he has me on a strict two drink limit.  Because of this, I drink significantly less than I used to. 

•  A year or so ago, my parents hosted a big shin dig.  That means party to you city folk.  For said party, my parents had rented a bounce house.  Oh, what fun!!  If I only knew the truth*.  As the party was winding down, I decided it would be a good idea to try out the bounce house.  Rumors later circulated that I had drank too much.  I am here to tell you the truth.  I had exactly 1/2 of a beer over the course of two hours.  I wish I had been drunk, it would be less embarrassing.  Anyway, so I yelled to The Smooch, to come join me.  We were bouncing and having fun.  And then it happened.  I learned a valuable lesson.  I jumped one way and my knee went the other.  I hit the ground screaming in pain.  The Smooch kept bouncing thinking I was faking.  I was not.  My knee had twisted and had given out.  My niece and nephew would  later ridicule me about why I should have followed the rules of the bounce house.  I was over the weight limit.  I was over the height limit.  Why didn't I listen? A trip to an orthopedic surgeon assured me that not only was my knee not permanently injured, unlike my ego, I was also the oldest bounce house victim the orthopedic surgeon had ever seen.  Now I have a trick knee that gives out at the most inopportune moments.  Like that time in improv class where I got up too fast and my damn trick knee gave out.  Shortest scene ever.  But big laughs.

Back to last night....  My big injury happened over a year ago.  I have only had minor problems since then.  Lately, I have been feeling like my knee was almost back to 100%.  And then it happened.  It gave out again last night.  It gave out in a big way.  I will preface this story by saying I am okay.  I am writing this with my leg propped up and with an ice pack but I am okay.  So I give you permission to laugh.  Laugh big.  Laugh hard.  In exchange, I ask that you not tell anyone about this.  This may easily be one of my more embarrassing moments.  The only reason it isn't my number one most embarrassing moment is because I was alone when it happened.  There were no witnesses.

And here is what happened.... It was about 11:30.  The OSU game had just ended.  Time for bed.  I had had exactly 0 alcoholic beverages.  I was however sitting near two people that were drinking.  Maybe I had a contact buzz?  I don't know.  I did, however drink a lot of water and I do have a very small bladder.  That makes for a dangerous combination.  All of a sudden, I had to pee.  Bad.  I ran to the bathroom (well walked quickly, because who am I kidding, I never run.)  There was no time to shut the door, and I barley had time to pull my pants down.  No need to unbutton because well, you know (Button Free, Zipper Free, Care Free).  So pants half way down my legs, I turn to sit, and then my knee gave out.  I bounced off the toilet and fall, half in/half out of the walk in shower, pants around my knees.  I take a breath and try to assess the damage.  My knee hurts... bad.  But so does something else.  Oh yeah, that's my bladder, I still have to pee.  If possible, even worse than when I originally rushed into the bathroom.  I am glad to know that in intense situations, I can hold it.  Peeing my pants would have been the icing on the cake.  I take another breath.  Can I move myself the few inches to make it to the toilet?  Is my knee strong enough to support me?  Did The Smooch here the crash and is he on his way up here now?  We are not yet to a place where I wanted him in the bathroom when I was peeing.  The door was open, he could walk in anytime.**  My need was urgent, so I decided to risk it.  I moved towards the toilet and lifted myself up.  And then I fell in.  It seemed that when I bounced off the toilet, I had hit it with such a great force, that the toilet seat had ripped clear off the toilet.  It was two feet away.  I finished my business and then hobbled to the nearest bedroom to lie down.  Then I yelled for The Smooch.  When he arrived, I was half crying with pain and half laughing from embarrassment. 

He entered the bedroom not sure how to react.  There lies his crazy wife, laughing hysterically and holding her knee.  He tentatively asked the obvious.  I couldn't explain.  The tears and the laughter wouldn't stop.  I simply pointed towards the bathroom.  He assessed the scene but still couldn't put the story together.  So, through the tears and sweat, I told him what happened.  I told him the truth.  I have a family history of destroying toilets in unusual ways.***  So he just smiled and lovingly helped me hobble to bed.  He got me an ice pack and has been taking care of me all day.  Because when your wife is prone to idiotic drunken accidents when completely sober, you have no choice but to smile, take care of her and just shake your head and laugh.



Dramatic Reenactment

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*The Truth! Bounce Houses are dangerous!!  I have proof.
'Bounce houses' under new scrutiny | The Columbus Dispatch
Nationwide Children’s Hospital Study Shows Increase In Bounce House-Related Injuries - 10tv

** In fact, we almost got divorced earlier in the week when he walked in on me going number two.  Traumatic for both of us.  There was yelling and screaming on both parts.  We couldn't look at each other for the rest of the day.

*** My grandfather, the asshole, once destroyed a toilet when he dropped a crock pot on it.  Because who doesn't dispose of rancid vegetable soup by pouring it down the toilet?  The crock pot was unharmed.

The Smooch has left the building...

Not only did The Smooch leave the building, he left the city, county and state.  The Smooch decided to drive to Long Island, New York to visit his family.  His dad broke his foot this summer and needed to get some stuff done around the house, so The Smooch decided to go and help out.  He planned on being gone about a week but it ended up being about 10 days.  Rumors started flying.  "I think she killed him and buried him in the back yard.  New York is just a cover.  He is never coming home."  That wasn't true, I assure you.  The Smooch is alive and well.  But as his trip kept being extended, I thought maybe The Smooch's mother had kidnapped him and was keeping him for manual labor.  She confirmed that he was locked in the basement.  But she finally released him and he is back home.  I assume at least.  Between naps and football, I haven't actually talked to him yet.

This is what our dogs looked like when I had to
tell them their daddy had extended his trip again.  So Sad.

But enough about him, this is my blog.  And below is the list of things that I had planned on doing vs the list of things I actually did while The Smooch was away.
 
Things I Planned Today While The Smooch Was Away

1. Sleep a lot.
2. Eat tons of Jeni's Ice Cream.  If you have never tried, you have never lived.  Get a second job before you try it because you are going to need it to pay for your new habit.  But it is worth every penny!
3. Eat Taco Bell every day.  Gross I know but shut up and get your own blog.
4. Work on all my projects.  The Smooch refers to these as "crafts" but they are not.
5. Relax.
6. Enjoy single life again.

What I Actually Did

1. Run around like a crazy person.  Before doing any evening activities, the dogs had to go out first.
2. Go to bed late every night.  After being gone all day and night, I felt bad keeping the dogs crated all the time.  So I stayed up late so they could play.
3. Eat crackers for dinner, because we don't have food at our house.
4. Water the new sod and new plants every day while being eaten alive by mosquitos.
5. Walk the dogs. 
6. Clean up dog poop and pee.  Mostly off the bottom of my feet because that's usually how I discover my dogs little surprises.
7. Had a very small taste of what it might be like to be a single parent.
8. Pee with six eyes watching me.  That goes for just about everything else I did that week.
9. I did actually eat a lot of Jeni's Ice Cream.  Because a girl's gotta eat and there was no food in the house.