Saturday, August 31, 2013

Button Free, Zipper Free, Care Free

I am (almost) ashamed to admit that I purchased a pair of pants with the slogan "Button Free, Zipper Free, Care Free."  A search for new dress pants took me to Kohls.  I was on a time frame so I just grabbed a bunch of black pants in my size and off to the dressing room I went.  I tried on a bunch of pants and few fit comfortably.  But one did, the Lee Slimming Pull on Bootcut Pants.  You guessed it, elastic waist band pants (EWBP).  But they were so comfortable.  I was in pant heaven.  They were comfortable, they fit great, they looked good and they made me feel good.  But could I wear EWBP?  I am in my 30s, my low thirties even.  I'm young, I'm hip, I cool (well maybe not so much).  But still, the only pair of paints I own without a zipper are a pair of sweatpants.  But has I stood there looking in the mirror, I thought to myself, damn, are these pants comfortable.  I decided what the hell.  I would buy the pants.  I figured I could where them on days when I really didn't care what I looked like or when I was feeling fat.  But they were so comfortable, I decided to buy two pairs.  So I grabbed a second pair and headed to the check out counter. 

When I got to the check out counter, I double checked the paints that I had and discovered that I had two different sizes.  So back to the dressing room I went to confirm my size.  Once I was back in the dressing room and back in those pants, I wonderful feeling came over me.  I was again in pant heaven.  I did the 360 turn to check out my new pants.  I did a couple squats and even sat down.  Damn, were these pants comfortable.  I decided to live and die in these pants.  It was tough taking them back off and putting on my original pants.  The button seemed to dig into my stomach.  I couldn't breath.  I just wanted to put back on my new EWBP.

Now that I had determined my size, I went back to the rack to get a second pair in my size.  This is when I discovered that they come in different sizes.  I ended up leaving Kohls with not one, not two but four pairs of EWBP.  Two blacks, one khaki, and one jean pair.  Yes, I have a pair of elastic EWB Jeans.  They are just like those PajamaJeans but cooler and actually are real pants.

After spending an entire week wearing nothing but EWBP, I am hooked.  At first I was ashamed.  Grandmas wear EWBP.  But a quick survey from my coworkers proved, that they didn't look like grandma pants.  They looked like any other pair of pants.  And I am so comfortable at work I don't care what other people think.  I even have a friend who is an EWBP convert.

As anyone else out there tried these pants?  Or am I only.  I am hoping to start an elastic waist band pants support group for all those who love EWBP.  Inquire within.

Button Free, Zipper Free, Care Free?  Why yes, thank you.